The toddler sleep problem:
I am breast feeding my baby and I have been trying a crying method to get my 15month old to sleep at night. (let him cry for 2 mins then go in and soothe him without getting him up out of the cot, for 2 mins then the same thing for up to 8 minutes at a time) It was working really well and I was at the point that I could put him to bed awake at night (with his dummy) and he would go off to sleep without even a peep. He still didn't sleep all night mind you but that would have been the next obstacle.
BUT the little angel started getting out of his cot (It was quite dangerous he didn't climb out like my three year old did he actually was lifting his leg and falling out) I have put him into a single bed and given the cot to a friend, and you can probably guess what my problem is now he wont go down to sleep now (unless he falls asleep at the breast or in my arms) without getting up out of bed. I tried putting him back to sleep each time he got up without talking to him but this went on for an hour or more and I gave in and let him go to sleep on the breast.
Our recommended toddler sleep solution:
Thanks for your message and enquiry about sleep information for your toddler. He must be quite an adventurer to be getting out of his cot at age 15 months!
At his age he certainly doesn’t need any feeds during the night, and should be able to sleep through the night. To achieve this, you will need to tackle several different things:
- Getting him to stay in bed
- Getting him to settle without a feed
- Getting him to settle without you
Here are some suggestions for each issue:
Staying in bed:
I recommend that you invest in a Babe Sleeper. This is a cotton sleeping bag that is attached to the base sheet, and fits either a single bed or a cot mattress. Your baby will be able to sit up and roll over, but not climb out of bed or stand up. He is on the older side to introduce this and may protest a bit for a couple of nights, but I think it’s worth it to know he can’t go anywhere. I use one with my 13 month old and absolutely wouldn’t be without it!
If you don’t want to go for that option, you will need to be very consistent with putting him back to bed without giving in or use the gradual method explained below.
Getting him to settle without a feed:
I would explain to him that there are no more feeds in the night, and just don’t offer it again. Choose another means of settling him. It may be easier to get your partner to do the settling for a while as your baby associates you with feeding & falling asleep!
You also need to ensure during the day you use the feed/play/sleep routine, so he always goes for his day sleep(s) awake.
Getting him to settle without you:
You have 2 choices here – either a gradual withdrawal of you, or just keep putting him back into bed. If you go for the ‘back into bed’ approach, you need to follow through with it even if you put him back to bed 20, 50, 100 times before he goes to sleep. If you give in, you’re back to square one!
At his age the gradual withdrawal method will involve far less screaming and tantrums, and I think given your situation, will be easier on you all. Start off by lying with him but not feeding him to sleep. Then once he can fall asleep like that, spend the next couple of nights sitting next to him as he falls asleep. Gradually progress to the end of the bed, chair next to the bed and then sitting on the floor by the door. I used this technique when my eldest had a phase of wanting Mum or Dad with him at bedtime. It only took a week or so, and he was back to falling asleep by himself.
For more information on all these issues with toddlers, I highly recommend the wonderful ‘No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers. This covers a range of toddler sleep issues, including ending night feeds, needing a parent to fall asleep and midnight visits to the parent’s bed. A great investment for any mum of a toddler!!
I also recommend getting him attached to a comfort blankie. Choose something small, that you can get to smell like mum, and baby can find/hold during the night. You can get him attached to it by holding it when you are feeding or sleeping a couple of nights with it under your top, then only give it to him at sleep times.