Separation anxiety

This starts to develop from about 8 months old, as your baby begins to realise he is not physically attached to you! Your baby may have been quite happy settling at bedtime and playing independently for short periods, but all of a sudden starts to cry and wail every time you leave the room (or when you put him into his cot). Over the coming months separation anxiety will continue to come and go in waves, usually while your baby is going through a significant developmental milestone. As babies get older and begin to become more independent physically, perhaps even taking their first steps, you will probably notice it peak again before easing up once they have mastered their new skill.

This can come as a rude shock for parents who have had babies who up until now settled well, without help from mum or dad. It can also drive you crazy as you feel like you can't even go to the loo without taking baby with you! Making matters worse, it’s often between 9-18 months that many parents need to return to work either in a part-time or full-time capacity, and settling into daycare can exacerbate separation anxiety even further.

Specific tips for dealing with separation anxiety (both day and night):

• Use a sling during the day for short walks, into a shop, jobs around the house etc - babies of this age love being up close to mum or dad and it gives them extra cuddles when otherwise they may be in a pushchair.

• Have a relaxing bedtime routine that includes plenty of cuddles, stories, baby massage etc.

• Play some games that teach baby about object permanence - which is the developmental concept babies need to learn to understand that you still exist even after you have left the room. Peek a boo or hiding toys under other things are both good at this age

• Make sure your baby spends time with people she knows and try to avoid leaving your baby with care-givers she doesn't know, particularly at this age. If you need to go back to work around this time, make the transition as easy for you both as possible, by spending time at the daycare/care-giver's place together.

• Gradually increase the times you are apart from your baby, eg the first time at a care-giver or daycare without you should only be for an hour or two.

• Always say goodbye if you are leaving your baby - do not sneak out as this may lead to distrust and further upset - both at bedtime and during the day.

Teething

Hmm... there are many views on whether teething affects baby's sleep, plus different babies can be affected in different ways. However most babies will be unsettled and may wake in the night for a night or two when teeth are actually breaking through the gums.

The key with teething and sleeping is to be supportive if your baby is in pain and undergoing this major development, but try to avoid new habits developing that will lead to ongoing sleep problems. Teething continues off and on for the first two years...that's a lot of broken sleep for the whole family if bad habits develop.

As a rule of thumb, if the sleep problem has been going on for more than three nights, there is a reason other than teething!

Tips for dealing with teething:

• Check if you can see the tooth just under the surface or starting to break through. While red cheeks, extra drooling and other signs may indicate a tooth may be coming, these can continue for weeks and months.

• Once you can see a tooth coming, try to continue with your usual bedtime routine and settling.

• If your baby has real difficulty settling or wakes in pain, discuss this with your chemist or doctor, and consider the appropriate use of some baby pain relief. If your baby doesn't respond to the pain relief within 5-10 minutes, then it's probably not teething pain which is causing the sleep problem.

• As soon as the tooth is through the gum and growing, then get straight back into your normal expectations for settling and sleeping.

• Perhaps the exception to this is when babies are cutting their molars. These big teeth cover a large surface so you might notice that they take much longer to come through and sleep may consequently be disrupted for a longer period or you may find you have a series of bad nights over the course of a couple of weeks. As per our recommendations for teething in general, however, the best thing you can do during this time is to try to avoid creating new sleep habits that require your presence.

Nap resistance and changes to day sleeps

Once babies are about 9 months old, they often start to resist their day sleeps. While they may have been settling easily at about 9am, all of a sudden your baby may cry, scream or just refuse to go to sleep.

No, it doesn't mean it's time to give up the morning sleep! It's just an indicator that your baby's daytime routine needs adjusting. Babies between the ages 9-12 months do best on two naps a day and generally need between 3-4 hours sleep with naps in the morning and afternoon, and bedtime about 7pm. Usually one of those naps will be shorter than the other. Between the ages 12-18 months, mostolder babies will drop from two to one day sleeps. Your child will let you know by either resisting the morning sleep so it moves gradually closer and closer to midday, or by flat out refusing to go down for either the morning or afternoon nap. Before you decide to move her to one nap, however, try our tips below.

Tips for nap resistance:

• Change your baby's morning sleep time until 30 mins later, so put her down at about 9.30am (rather than 9am). If she is still not settling easily, try 9.45am.

• Move her afternoon sleep back by 30 mins until approx 1.30pm.

• Make sure your baby has plenty of opportunity to play and move about, so she gets physically tired.

• If the suggested nap times don't work for your baby, continue to use tired signs such as eye rubbing and grizzling as a cue that it's time to sleep.

• If you have avoided a structured routine until now, give it a try - your baby will almost certainly sleep better!

• If your baby is over one and you have persevered with the above and find that she is still resisting her naps then it may be time to try her on one day sleep. To do this, move her morning nap back to 11am. As she adapts, this will gradually move closer to midday. Bringing bedtime forward to 6/6:30pm can help her adjust and combat overtiredness. You may also find that two naps are required on some days. If this is the case, often a quick nap on the go in the late afternoon will do the trick.

• As with all nap transitions, it can take a few days for your wee one to adapt. Be flexible and persevere and she should pass through the phase relatively painlessly.

Continued inability to self settle

If your baby continues to be unable to self settle after these issues pass, or your baby has always had issues at bedtime or woken in the night, then consider starting a sleep training program.

This isn't as scary as it sounds, as there are many different options for teaching your baby to self settle. For example, you can use a gradual method if you are currently feeding your baby to sleep, or choose a verbal check-in method if you are OK with short periods of crying. While no-one likes to hear their baby crying, the quicker you teach your baby to settle and resettle themself in the night, the far less crying you will get overall.