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Breastfeeding Isn’t Sustainable Without Support - And That’s Okay

Breastfeeding Isn’t Sustainable Without Support - And That’s Okay

By Renata Lardelli, Registered Midwife & Founder of Lila Jasmine

 

Breastfeeding is natural, yes - but that doesn’t mean it’s always easy, intuitive, or something mums should have to navigate alone. From round-the-clock feeds to nourishing your own body, managing other children, and juggling sleep, the hidden demands of breastfeeding can quickly add up. And the truth is, breastfeeding isn’t sustainable without support and that’s not a reflection of your ability, but a reflection of how much care this season truly requires. In this article, we’ll explore the real-world realities of breastfeeding, how to manage them, and where to find support when you need it most.


The Realities of Breastfeeding and How to Manage Them

1. Night Feeds

Waking to feed your baby through the night is normal, especially in the early months but it's exhausting. The good news? There are ways to make it easier:

  • Set up a cosy, safe feeding space with water, a snack, and a dim light.
  • Take shifts with your partner or support person even if you're exclusively breastfeeding, they can burp, change nappies, or settle baby post-feed.
  • Give yourself permission to sleep in later or have a slower start to the day if you've had a busy night feeding. It might just leave you feeling more rested than pushing through on empty.

2. Cluster Feeding and Feeding on Demand

Cluster feeding can feel never-ending but it's a sign your baby is working to build your milk supply, try:

  • Wearing your baby in a carrier so you can move about or care for other children during long feeding periods.
  • Creating a breastfeeding basket with snacks, nipple balm, and entertainment.
  • Letting go of the to-do list, feeding your baby is a full-time job in those early weeks.
  • When it comes to meals, take the pressure off:
  • Put on the crockpot in the morning.
  • Pull out a freezer meal you've prepped earlier.
  • Or if the budget allows, treat yourself to takeout.

3. Juggling Other Children

Breastfeeding with a toddler hanging off your leg is real life for many mums, try:

  • Setting up a special toy basket or a toy rotation system that only comes out during feeds.
  • Using screen time guilt-free, this is a survival season.
  • Saying yes to help, whether it's a neighbour taking your toddler for a walk or a friend folding your washing, every little bit counts.

4. Feeding in Public

You have the legal right to breastfeeding in public. Confidence to feed outside the home often grows with practice, until then:

  • Practice with easy-access clothing like two-layer tops or button-down shirts.
  • Scout out child-friendly spaces; many malls, libraries, and parks have parent lounges or quiet corners. Cafe's with play corners or friendly staff can also make a huge difference.
  • A great hack: use a claw clip to hold your top up while feeding, it keeps things in place and out of your baby's face.

5. Staying Nourished

Feeding another human takes energy. Many mums forget to fuel themselves, try:

  • One-handed snacks like trail mix, fruit slices or Lila Jasmine's Lactation Bars.
  • Prepping a lunchbox for yourself when you do the kids'.
  • Drinking water at every feed, having your water bottle nearby.

Building Your Village

The idea that mothers should “do it all” is outdated. Breastfeeding was never meant to happen in isolation. Your support system might include:

  • Your partner: who can do baths, nappies, and housework so you can rest and feed
  • Friends and whānau: who can cook, run errands, or hold your baby while you shower.
  • Other mums: in person or online. Try La Leche League, Plunket groups, or local parenting pages.
  • Your midwife or Well Child provider: reach out, you don’t need to wait until things feel hard.

TIP: Pop a to-do list on the fridge so visitors know how they can help, “empty the dishwasher” or “hang the washing” are great places to start. DOWNLOAD: your free Postpartum Plan template from Lila Jasmine, it’ll help you plan ahead and get clear on who can help, how, and when.


Pumping: Helpful, but Not Effortless

Pumping can give you flexibility but it also adds time, gear, and routines to manage. Here’s how to keep it practical:

1. Cleaning and Sterilising Pump Parts

Keeping your pump clean is essential to protect your baby from bacteria, especially when they’re under 3 months, premature, or have health concerns. After each use:

  • Disassemble all parts that touch breast milk.
  • Rinse each part with cold water to remove milk residue.
  • Wash in hot, soapy water using a clean bowl (not the sink). Use a separate brush or cloth just for pump parts.
  • Rinse thoroughly with clean water.
  • Air dry on a clean tea towel or dedicated drying rack. Don't pat dry with a dishcloth.

Sterilise daily using one of the following:

  • Boil parts in water for 1 minute, don’t forget to set a timer.
  • Use a microwave or UV steriliser.
  • Soak using Milton sterilising tablets available in NZ pharmacies and supermarkets.

What About the "Fridge Hack"?

If you're pumping multiple times a day and can't clean pump parts in between, the CDC and many NZ health professionals say it's okay to rinse and refrigerate used pump parts between sessions but only if:

  • Baby is healthy and full-term
  • You’re using the same parts within a 24-hour period
  • You rinse with cold water first, then store in a clean ziplock bag or sealed container
  • You fully clean and sterilise the parts at the end of the day

2. Storage Guidelines

Breast milk is more than nourishment, it's packed with antioxidants, immune-boosting properties, and nutrients. Whether you're preparing for a night out, returning to work, or just need flexibility, here’s how to keep your milk safe and potent.

How to Store:

  • Room temp (16–29°C): Up to 4 hours, 6–8 hrs may be okay if it's cool.
  • Fridge (≤4°C): Best within 4 days; up to 5–8 days if conditions are very clean.
  • Freezer (-4°C to -20°C): Best within 6 months; 12 months is acceptable. Leave space in the container and freeze in small portions to reduce waste.

Smart Handling:

  • Thaw in the fridge or warm water. Never microwave.
  • Use fresh milk first.
  • Thawed milk: Use within 24 hours. Don't re-freeze or leave out for more than 2 hours.

3. Sharing Feeds and Returning to Work

Many mums pump to give their baby a bottle whether to rest, prepare for return to work, or allow another caregiver to feed the baby. Caregivers might be partners, paid childcare or grandparents. Consider sharing;

  • Your prep and clean-up structure.
  • How you'd like your baby to be fed, perhaps you use paced-bottle feeding.
  • Any cues or routines that work well.
  • For work, you're entitled to:
  • A private, clean space to pump
  • Flexible break times
  • A fridge for storing milk

Managing the Emotional Load

1. Worrying About Supply

It's incredibly common to worry about milk supply. Frequent feeding doesn't mean low supply, it often means your baby is doing exactly what they should.

Check:

  • 5+ wet nappies/day
  • Consistent weight gain
  • A settled baby after most feeds

Still unsure? Reach out to:

  • our midwife, Well Child provider or GP
  • A lactation consultant
  • La Leche League NZ for peer support

2. Mental Health and Identity

Motherhood changes everything and it's okay to find it overwhelming. According to PADA approximately 25% of mums experience depression during or after pregnancy and 10% of men develop depression after their child is born. These figures highlight just how common emotional challenges are in the transition to parenthood. You are not alone, help is available.

  • Be gentle with yourself and with each other. The shift in identity is big.
  • If sadness, anxiety, or fog don't lift, contact:
    • Confide in someone you love and trust.
    • Make an appointment with your GP.
    • PADA (Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Aotearoa) is an excellent resource.
    • You can also take the Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale - a simple questionnaire that helps screen for symptoms of postnatal depression.

Cleaning and Laundry

Laundry Tips

  • Keep extras on hand so you don’t need to wash daily.
  • Or you can take a wash and dry approach so you’re always on top.
  • Accept help folding or hanging laundry, it’s one of the easiest tasks to delegate.

General Cleaning

When your priority is feeding and recovering, the mess can feel like too much.

  • Focus on three basics: clean dishes, clean clothes, clear walkways.
  • Try the concept of rotating cleaning zones - clean one area per day so the whole house feels manageable over the week.
  • People are dying to help you. Write up a short list of 10–15 minute jobs for others to pitch in with — e.g. “wipe down the highchair,” “vacuum the lounge,” “take out the recycling.”

You're Not Just Feeding You're Nurturing

When you're in the thick of it, breastfeeding can feel like a blur of latching, burping, leaking, washing, waking. But take a breath and zoom out you are nurturing a human being with your body, your heart, and your time.

Whether you’re breastfeeding exclusively, combo feeding, or expressing you're doing something extraordinary. And even on the days where it feels like too much, that doesn’t make you any less amazing. In fact, it means you're deeply in it. You’re showing up.


Final Thoughts: When You're Supported, You Can Sustain It

Breastfeeding may be natural, but it doesn’t always come naturally. It takes time, energy and support. When you're surrounded by people who lift you up, when your body is nourished and your mind is cared for, breastfeeding and expressing becomes not only sustainable but you’ll feel confident, connected and empowered too.


About the Author

Renata Lardelli is a New Zealand registered midwife and founder of Lila Jasmine, a brand dedicated to supporting and nourishing mothers through lactation bars and 4th trimester education. With nearly two decades of experience in maternity
care, Renata is passionate about demystifying postpartum life and making sure mums never feel alone in the fourth trimester.


Breastfeeding Isn’t Sustainable Without Support - And That’s Okay

Mum breastfeeding baby with Lila Jasmin lactaction support bar nearby